When meaningful change can truly take place

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change” – Carl R. Rogers

When I’m trying to enact growth or recompose myself i.e. losing body fat, gaining muscle, building a new company, changing my practices, reorganizing my priorities, etc. – I need to:

Stop beating myself up about why I keep failing to change. I fail because I am human and make mistakes – I am not God and shouldn’t expect results as if I am my Father. I fail because I have limited knowledge – which is to be expected, like a baby will falter 100% of the time when learning how to walk. I fail because sometimes, it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing.
Stop being impatient. I am causing undue stress on the process. Sometimes there are not shortcuts. I need to enjoy the journey and not just focus on the destination.

Understand that frustration is a matter of expectation. Yes – make well-thought out goals and take realistic steps toward change, but understand that sometimes your goals won’t be achieved; that sometimes, God has an even better plan for you than your limited knowledge wants. Most of your life’s greatest moments are unplanned – I guarantee it. 

So if the future is uncontrollable to a certain degree, and there is an unknown that you can never predict…why not focus on what you can control? 

Learn to really accept yourself as you are – warts and all. Be present in your circumstances – be they good or bad. And remind yourself that you are enough. 
I am far from perfect in doing these things (do as I say, not as I do lol!), but I can tell you that I can go much further when my gas tank is full =)

Love yourself. 

Take a guess. It’s good for you. 

I’m listening to a podcast by Tim Ferriss interviewing Jane McGonical – who says that she enjoys watching games she knows how to play, and predicting who wins. Her games of choice are tennis matches.

While seemingly trivial, according to her research – doing so creates anticipation and releases a healthy amount of dopamine, regardless of the outcome. 

If your prediction is right, you get a pat on the back; and if your prediction is wrong, you get to learn what went wrong and you’re wiser. How often can you bet on a win/win situation? 

She also cited that peoples’ moods are less happy during sports off-seasons; and she also chooses tennis matches because there is only one month when there are no games. A hedge against depression. 

So interesting!

If you decided to try this, what would you predict? I’m not a sports guy, so I’d have to find something else to play fortune teller with. Maybe reading a mystery book or watching a mystery show on Netflix – because I love reading, and I love guessing who committed the crime and looking back at clues when I failed. Any recommendations?