This is a passage from an interview Tim Ferriss did in his new book and my new favorite guide “Tribe of Mentors,” where he interviews Jerome Jarre – someone whom I never even heard of until now, but is a courageous person who encourages me to dig even deeper and find true self and calling.
“Turns out they were the best decisions of my life [leaving comfortable, sure-shot situations like dropping out of business school, failing all of his startups early and staying with it, quitting Gary Veynerchuk’s marketing company that he co-founded with him]. Because each one of those difficult decisions that looked like failures (at first) took me a bit closer to my real self. Each one of them empowered the real me. Each one of them woke me up from the illusion. At this point, I can see a clear pattern of rejection every time I try to get closer to my real self, so the feeling of ‘looking like a failure’ has become more of a fuel than a burden.”
Most of my defining life moments occurred when I was stepping outside of the comfort zone i.e. dropping out of college – during my last semester! – to start a restaurant with no experience; finding a real relationship with Christ through Christianity, and creating tension with my inherited Catholic upbringing and environment; divorcing someone I was with for seven years and had immersed our families in; leaving a company I loved, was thriving in, and served for ten years; etc…(another post for another time), and the list goes on.
And while I am experiencing a tremendous amount of joy and authenticity in what I do, I am still on a long journey to find out my ultimate “real self;” and I do this by periodically asking myself these questions.
(1) What and where are my comfort zones – things and places I know, can easily access, and won’t help me grow but just allow me to milk what I already have, almost passively? Will I consider dropping them in hopes of “waking up” and clearing the space for something new, scary, unproven, exciting, and potentially life- and world-changing?
(2) What are some of the craziest things I can do with my life right now? What things I could drop, add, and/or modify that the public eye would find unexpected, or that my loved ones would tell me I’m out of my mind to do?
(3) What has always piqued my curiosities and passions that I’ve put to the side because of overcommitments and the “daily grind?” Are there things I know, I know, I KNOW in my heart that I should be doing?
(4) When I’m on my deathbed, what will I be proud of saying I did? What am I doing right now that wont’ make the cut?
(5) What would I still be doing if I didn’t get paid?
(6) What would I still be doing even after I’ve amassed $100 million and didn’t have to worry about money ever again?
Hope time and these hard questions that require honest answers keep chipping away at the stone block until you find the masterpiece of art that is…uniquely YOU.
Books Calling Comfort Fear Jerome Jarre Notes Personal Development Personal Inventory Purpose Questions Risk Tim Ferriss Tribe Of Mentors